License plate denied

I requested all the vanity license plates people have tried to create that Arizona Department of Transportation refused to allow.

Every so often when driving around I spot a funny personalized license plate. Or one that references a song, movie, TV show, etc. Or maybe one that is a nickname or surname –– it’s endless.

I once spotted one a couple of years ago that was just “IM UGLY” or one that read “JSTVIBN.”

Former Phoenix New Times writer Antonia Noori Farzan, who now eloquently writes for the Providence Review Journal kept a long-running Twitter thread of vanity plates she found (or people sent her) around the streets of Rhode Island and then requested all the approved vanity plates in the state to write about.

Antonia Noori Farzan @antoniafarzan

thinking of starting a thread with all the vanity plates i see while driving around RI

I decided to request the same records in Arizona, but Arizona does not keep such records. Instead, the Arizona Department of Transportation told me they track a list of license plates that they denied.

And there are THOUSANDS of them.

“MVD doesn't keep a database of personalized plate selections. A plate designation, whether standard or personalized, is part of an individual's Motor Vehicle Record. The system we use allows people to select a personalization electronically or at an office.  If the selection is not already chosen by someone else and doesn't violate standards regarding profanity, hateful references and so forth, then it is available,” ADOT spokesman Douglas Nick told me.

He then sent me a spreadsheet that hadn’t been updated for a bit, but called it the “greatest hits of inappropriate attempts.”

35,727 rejections later, the greatest hits was born.

Here are the highlights that I found:

Numbers

• Everything from 69 to 420 and many different variations of the two make it into the rejection list.

• Different versions of 666 as well

• some include 17, likely as a reference to QAnon given that ridiculous and dangerous cult gaining more popularity over the years. Q is the 17th letter of the alphabet.

• 80085 or 8008135 for every kid who grew up in the ‘90s and ‘00s and wanted to type the word “boobies” on their calculators.

• 8008M4N … I think it’s obvious what this intention was.

• plenty of people used the number eight to mean “ate” and attempted to create sentences that way

A-D

• Assman was rejected. The Seinfeld fan in me is disappointed in ADOT for this one.

• AT88MPH - I feel like this might just be a Back to the Future reference?

• ATTNWHR… yikes

• B1TC41N a clever way of saying “bitchin”

• So many people wanted their car to say “badass”

• BEERCAN… I feel like this one is fine, right?

• BRIS … why?

• BTTUGLY apparently “I’m Ugly” is cool but “butt ugly” is too far?

• Plenty of different words and spellings for male genitalia were rejected… now that I get.

• CERVEZA. Look, I get ADOT is against drinking and driving, but they just seem to be anti-beer.

• CHEAPFK this one legit made me laugh. Points for the honesty and self-awareness whoever you are

• COCAINE

• DAMSAM1

• DAMSAM2 love the idea of this person trying a second time.

• DEEZNTS, DZZNTZZ, DZZNUTS, DZZNUTZ, DZZZNTZ, DZZZNTZ… I mean were you expecting anything less? This isn’t even close to all of them.

E-H

• EARGASM

• EATTHIS

• EWPOOP

• Just gonna skip over F, you can probably guess what most of them say.

• G3TSUM

• GMECOCK I’m assuming this person is just a fan or alumni of the University of South Carolina

• GODDAMN

• GOLFSUX. If you’re keeping track, ADOT is anti-beer, but pro-golf. Noted. Unsure their thoughts on the Waste Management Open… will look into it.

• H8HONDA. Is it just me or would this be funnier if this person drives a Honda?

• HALFJEW

• HANNITY. Sorry, Sean.¹

• HAPPYHR

To see the rest of the 35,000+ submissions, here you go.

A lot of these I think ADOT went too far on, but there are probably 10 times as many that definitely should not be on people’s cars. Some real gross and offensive entires here. And props to the team at ADOT for recognizing absurd attempts to use profanity. I imagine it’s not an easy task to catch some of them.

Here’s what ADOT told me about the process.

The MVD simply uses language in state law to provide guidance on any new questionable plates. ARS 28-2406 states: “...The department may refuse to issue or may suspend, cancel or revoke any combination of letters and numbers that carries connotations that are offensive to good taste and decency, any combination that is misleading or any combination that duplicates other plates.”

Typically, MVD executive staff review questionable submissions as needed and include other employees to review references that deal with subject matters that we may not be as familiar with. This helps with more obscure topics and keeps as many from sneaking through as possible.

If or when questions or complaints arise about an already-approved plate, we are typically made aware by concerned individuals and will review and possibly revoke the plate.

1. Honestly, if this were him he would totally have a meltdown on his show about how his license plate was denied.