Freedom Fries, Flat Earth, and CRT TVs
"There is this book I found that has sexual assault, incest, Sodomy, and mass genocide… It’s the Bible.”
The Arizona Department of Education’s “Empower Hotline,” an initiative launched by Superintendent of Public Instruction Tom Horne in early 2023, has ignited a whirlwind of responses from parents and teachers across the state. Created to report supposed infractions like Critical Race Theory (CRT) and Social Emotional Learning (SEL) in Arizona’s K-12 classrooms, the hotline has led to an unexpected surge of humorous, satirical, and occasionally bewildering complaints that question the purpose — and perhaps the sanity — of the program.
Horne, known for his conservative views on education, introduced the Empower Hotline in early 2023 as a way to keep “divisive concepts” like CRT out of Arizona’s schools. Since its launch, Horne has faced widespread criticism for creating what opponents have dubbed a “snitch line,” reminiscent of authoritarian regimes. But while some parents are indeed using the hotline to express concerns, others are having a bit more fun with it.
Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin established a similar line in his state, to the same results. Mostly prank calls and he dissolved the line in less than a year, quietly.
CRT in Schools (cathode ray tube)
In one standout complaint for the Arizona line, a teacher reported, tongue firmly in cheek, a long-standing “CRT” issue in their classroom. “I’ve been trying to get rid of an old cathode ray tube (CRT) monitor in my classroom for years,” the teacher wrote. “Maybe you could help me remove this ancient relic?”
Other parents have joined in with similarly satirical submissions. One concerned citizen wanted to report the sighting of a large, “grainy” TV on a rolling cart in a school classroom, suspected to be—of all things—a CRT television. “Please, help protect my children from low-resolution visuals!” they wrote.
Capitalism to Flat Earth
The complaints have covered everything from existential questions to perceived philosophical “indoctrination.” One “parent?” submitted a report after their 27-year-old daughter came home talking about “capitalism,” referring to it as a “deranged philosophy” they found “absolutely disgusting.” Another parent was curious whether the Empower Hotline could provide guidance on Flat Earth Theory, with multiple follow-ups assuring officials that they were “not joking” and needed a definitive answer.
Cafeteria Patriotism and Fashion Crimes
The hotline has received reports that range from the absurd to the whimsically patriotic. One parent complained that school cafeterias were now serving “freedom fries” instead of French fries, questioning if this was a sufficiently patriotic stance for Arizona schools. Another parent expressed concern over the attire of some school staff, particularly those frequently spotted in “Crocs.” “My child thinks they’re fashionable,” they wrote, “and I just can’t get on board with this trend infiltrating the school.”
The Real Pushback Against the Empower Hotline
Amidst the comedy, there are some serious concerns. Many parents and teachers view the hotline as an unnecessary burden that promotes fear, distrust, and even harassment in classrooms. Critics argue that CRT isn’t even taught in K-12 schools, making the hotline a politically charged response to an imagined problem. Teachers across Arizona worry that the hotline is yet another distraction from the pressing needs of Arizona schools, such as raising teacher salaries, hiring more counselors, and improving outdated facilities.
Tip line or prank line?
Here are some of the best emails from the records.
“I heard that you were getting rid of CRT in classrooms. There has been a cathode ray tube monitor in my classroom for years. I’ve been sending email after email to the technology department asking them to get rid of it, and gotten no results, so I thought maybe you could help me.”
“What is Tom Horne's position on teaching—or not teaching—Flat Earth Theory? Please explain, either way. No joke.”
“I think that maybe Tom Horne might be teaching about CRT… and Tom Horne has kids... I think that is inappropriate sexual content.”
“Hi - I don’t have a lesson to report but I would like to report a white supremacist Superintendent… He is racist and homophobic. Do better for your students and stop spreading hate and racism. Please resign.”
“My child comes home every day bombarded by their teacher’s shameless agenda of pushing [redacted] as a great university. This makes my child very sad because their parents went to [redacted]… Enough of this pushing of agendas in school. Do something about it before my fragile child is sad forever. P.S. You are an idiot Mr. Horne.”
There is this book I found that has sexual assault, incest, Sodomy, and mass genocide… It’s the Bible.”
“My daughter’s teacher said ‘life is tough and you don’t always get what you want.’ As a parent, I am highly offended by this statement.”
“Please provide me with definitions of Critical Race Theory and Social Emotional Learning… just so I can be very, very sure I’m not learning too much or feeling too deeply.”
“Must my granddaughter be afraid to talk with any classmates at school about her emotional support dog now? I wouldn’t want her to violate any official school policy. Please reply.”
“I’m genuinely curious if Flat Earth Theory is allowed in schools. We need to know for our home research group — no joke.”
“Hi! Is there a way to report the excessive wearing of Crocs by the school staff? My child thinks they’re fashionable, and I just can’t get on board with this trend infiltrating the school.”
“My daughter’s teacher read from the Bible in class, and I have to ask, what will be done about all the intense violence and disturbing content in there? We don’t need any plagues showing up in today’s curriculum!”
“I noticed the school office has a large wooden desk that looks very old. Should I report this? My child saw it and asked if it’s CRT — Critical Rustic Tradition.”
“I heard the school cafeteria is serving freedom fries instead of French fries now. Who do I call to confirm that my child’s lunch menu is truly patriotic?”
“The art teacher mentioned ‘Color Theory’— is this related to CRT? My child came home talking about mixing colors, and I’d like to report this dangerous blend of ideas.”
“I’m shocked my daughter’s teacher mentioned existentialism in class. I don't want my child contemplating existence before dinner!”
“My son’s teacher used a split infinitive in an email home. Please tell me this hotline can handle reports about dangerous grammar.”
“The P.E. teacher told my son he’s ‘not as fast as he thinks he is.’ I find this demotivating, and I want to report the use of discouraging language in physical education!”
“My son overheard that another student got a higher SAT score. He was quite affected by this. I want this corrected or reported as soon as possible.”
“My child came home saying they learned about a Mr. Washington, who’s on some dollar bills. I’d like to confirm that this isn’t a promotion of anything too revolutionary.”
“The science teacher told the class about climate change… I’d like to report this scare tactic. My child thinks the planet is warming up while I’m still freezing!”
See all the records here (Warning: there are a lot of spam emails in there.)